I was in my closet last night.

If life was normal, which it surely isn’t, I would have been picking out clothes for a work trip, packing and heading towards the airport. But life is no where near normal–our lives have been turned upside down by the craziness of Covid and a rash of other issues. (I choose this morning to talk about the former as I would like to keep my head together today. The latter makes me crazier than Covid…)

So, back to the closet.

I perused the new shelves we put in at the end of Covid winter. Beautiful sling back sandals and cute, comfy “tenny shoes” sit perfectly there surrounded by a new set of chest of drawers. Those drawers have hardly been opened. My Easter dress, pressed and unworn, says so much about the state of the world and my closet–some of the things that mean the most to our hearts have come to a standstill. (That would be celebrating Easter, not the dress!) Covid spring went by in a long blink.

We are now in the middle of Covid summer. Pretty little dresses and fanciful tops hang perfectly side by side on the velvet hangers. I ran my fingers over the crisp cotton fabric and it felt as though the clothes were conveying to me what I have been feeling for months: LET ME OUT!

Now, first of all, I love being home. I love the quiet of the woods and that I have family within a (very) loud yelling distance. I prefer home over anywhere else, but I have missed my friends and the chance to visit the places I love. Covid spring took away a planned beach trip with a dear friend planned for Kiawah Island. Covid summer has taken away any chance of a Gulf trip. Covid, it seems, has just taken…

My closet seems so lonely, like it feels I am playing favorites to tattered Adidas and Wal-Mart online picture worthy choices. I have had the ‘stay in pajamas’ day only once, but I felt I needed to try harder. But each day, no matter the weather or the occasion, is Covid groundhog day–same type of attire, same chance of not playing dress up.

I am looking towards Covid fall wondering if I will see any cuddly sweaters or boots in my future. Will I or will my wardrobe continue to be the same sweats and t-shirts swapped for sweatshirts? Will those great shoes in my closet be out of style when this is all over or will I?

I ponder these things.

I think about the little things and the time missed with friends. I can’t imagine living in a city without the outdoors to roam. I cannot even fathom how a child feels not having someone to play with or missing birthday parties. Those things are so big when you are little.

It seems so unfair.

I also wonder about a lot of stupid stuff.

Don’t even get me started on my hair…